Randomness... what else is new?

I spend a lot of time at work sometimes sitting around passing the time reading mags and Reader's Digest. Not all the time, but only when I'm taking care of 'special' patients who require one to one care. I love these special shifts. No need to talk to anyone, no running around like a mad woman, and no sore feet.
So I found these real funny paradoxes of famous quotes that really brightened up my shift and made my patient doubt my sanity when I smiled all to myself reading them.
Since sharing is caring, I'd like to show I care....

A journey of a thousand kilometres begins with a broken fan belt or a flat tyre.

It's always darkest before the dawn- so that's the best time to steal your neighbour's newspaper

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away- and you have his shoes.

The meek shall inherit the earth....... if its okay with the rest of you.

If you love someone or something, you should let it go. But if he still sits there, watching tv.... well then, you probably married him.

And some jokes:

A woman meets a genie and is allowed one wish. She takes out a map and points to several countries, " I would like peace here. here and here."
The genie looks apalled. 'What? That's impossible! I am only one genie and that is too much work for me!!! Try another wish!"
"Okay." She said. " I would like a man who loves children, cooks and clean, doesnt watch sports all day long, doesnt drink or smoke and always helps with the household chores."
The genie sighs. " Okay, let me have a look at that map again."

I am a commitment phobic.
I tried to get help for it really, I went for therapy sessions.
Well, just one session anyway. The therapist asked if I wanted to book another session and I said, 'Ooooh, You're being way too clingy."

Hahahaha. I love Reader's Digest jokes.