Why do they leave?

Funny how sometimes people you haven't thought about in a while come out of nowhere and knock you off your feet, and not in a good way.

In the space of a little less than a month, I've had my mom call me twice with bad news. The first time, my uncle had passed away suddenly. The second, a church member I've known all my life had passed away from a sudden heart attack. It frightens me now whenever someone says they have bad news. All I can think is, who's next? Who has decided to leave this world again?

People die everyday, as a nurse, I know this. I see this. I should know that this is only the natural order of life. As a christian, I should know that they are at peace now, they are with God now, it was their time to go, God's plan for them was complete.

But it doesn't stop the sadness, or the grief.

And it hurts worse when I try and try to remember my last encounter with them and it's not clear. It hurts worse when I remember who they were, and what they were to me in my life. I might've never been in constant touch with them, but they were still a part of my life in a way.

I wonder how their last day on earth was, who was the last person they spoke to? What did they say? I can only hope their last day were good ones, I can only hope the ones closest to them got to tell them they loved them, and that if they could, they would do anything for another day to tell them again how much they were loved.

I can't even begin to explain how horrible it is that sometimes it takes a person's death to make you think about him. To make you remember times spent together, and how much you appreciate him.

My uncle was always nice to us. I used to roll my eyes when he told me how much I've grown, because he said that everytime he saw me. Who knew the last time he told me that would be the last time he would say that to me? Now no one else may tell me that anymore.

Uncle Nyuk Min was a fellow church member, he loved kids. I remember how when I was a kid, he taught me how to wave with my thumb on my shaking bum, and four fingers in the air. It tickled him when I did that to other people in church. He taught me in Sabbath School, and he always had good insights on life and religion.

There's no way to end this post on a positive note.
Rest in peace, uncles.